Well, if you didn’t already know, the title of this post might have given it away! I’m just about ready to pop any day now! (It’s really why I’ve actually had time to re-fresh this blog and create some new content after nearly 2 years of nada. Whoop, whoop!)
I’m not gonna lie… this post has gone through several variations. It’s just really hard to figure out how much I want to share… how personal do I want this to be? There’s so many facets of pregnancy I can talk about! Also, is anyone reading this? Haha, but here we go. I’m just going to publish now because otherwise, this post will be in my “Drafts” abyss like too many others.
The first big lesson I learned was to slow down. I am a classic “workaholic” – let me just put that out there. I found myself working late almost every day and travelling for work multiple times a month. I’m not complaining, because I really enjoy it. I think that was the challenge for me… I didn’t see a point in slowing down or really making time for myself, because I was so caught up in work (and I not-so-secretly loved it). So, it goes without saying that the work-life balance thing has always been a big challenge for me.
But once I got pregnant, I was suddenly exhausted by 6 pm. I couldn’t stop yawning while I was in meetings in the middle of the day. I remember being at the gym at 6:30 am for my morning workout and 3 minutes into my run, I just wanted to lay down and go to sleep right there on the gym floor. I really had NO IDEA how exhausted my body would be. And let’s not even get into the nausea and morning sickness- oh boy.
For whatever reason, I still tried to fight the exhaustion, even when I found out I was pregnant. I insisted that I could continue with getting up at 4:45 am to work out, go to work, then get home, cook dinner and hang out with the husband and our dogs and go to bed at my usual 11 pm. Uhh… this lasted about 2 days. On the Wednesday, I got home at around 6pm, laid down to rest at 7pm and woke up at 6am the following day.
What the?! How did this happen?!
After that, I realized I had no choice. I had to really listen to what my body was telling me: slow the f*ck down. Sleep more. Make time to rest.
So I did!
I might be carrying our baby, but my husband is a big part of this, too. It’s easy to feel really alone when you’re pregnant. In fact, it’s pretty common for women to feel depressed during pregnancy because of this and the sudden surge of hormones. Looking back, my first trimester was really, really hard. Nobody understood just how bad the nausea was… every single day, how much I dreaded getting out of bed because I was constantly exhausted and how frequently I had to sneak/run to the washroom so I could throw up. (Incoming TMI: constipation was a b*tch!)
I’m really blessed to have a wonderful support system: our friends, family and most of all, my husband has been extremely supportive. I could tell he just wanted to make me feel better (still does) and tries his very best to do whatever he can. But in the beginning, I could tell he was starting to feel annoyed that I was constantly sleeping! We spent little awake time together because I would keep falling asleep (haha).
When I started feeling the baby kick (around 18 weeks for me), I tried to have him be a part of it, but I could tell it wasn’t the same for him. I’d hurry to grab his hand and put it on my belly and stare at him.. “he’s gonna kick, I know it!” and then we would wait for 10 minutes and there’d be nothing and I didn’t understand why he couldn’t just be patient and keep his hand there for as long as it took (haha.)
Although he has been very involved, I think the way we have processed this pregnancy has been very different. So, one big tip is to remember that you are not alone. I would rant about everything and all of the TMI symptoms, and even if he couldn’t relate, it felt great to have him (somewhat) be a part of it. I really have felt like we have been partners through this so far, even though he’s not going to be the one delivering. I think he really appreciated knowing how I was truly feeling, and we would share little tidbits about pregnancy or babies that we would both be reading.
One little thing in our routine is that every Saturday morning, while still in bed, we would read all of the articles about how many weeks we were (ooh, he’s as big as a grapefruit this week?) and just talk about how we were feeling about the pregnancy overall.
It’s okay that you’re freaking out.
I handle pressure very well and I’m probably the most secure person I know. That said, I can’t help but have moments where I freak out about what is about to happen. I mean, I sometimes still can’t even believe that there is a human being inside of me. That we created him. That I grew a whole person in my belly! Like, I have two heart beats right now. How utterly insane.
But, he will be here soon and will rely on us for absolutely everything. Yeah, it’s overwhelming and scary. But damn… we couldn’t be more excited. Just like everything in life, there has to be a balance – and I have always welcomed the “negative” with open arms. We’ve been so looking forward to having a baby and it’s finally happening. It really is a dream come true. I cannot wait for the sleepless nights and for this baby to drive me crazy and deprive our sleep.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that freaking out is totally normal! I’m lucky to have an awesome personal support system, but there are many online communities out there for new mamas! If you’re a Mom, let me know some good ones in the comments?
If you’re pregnant and a FTM (first-time Mom) like me, let me know if you can relate to any of this? I’d love to hear some of your comments! And all you Moms who have “graduated” from first-time pregnancy, send me some tips, will ya? Here’s hoping this baby arrives soon!
Photos by: Clar Jingco Photography